Looking back it is easy to see the things you should have done differently. The career paths you should have chosen; the advice you should have sought; the opportunities you should have acknowledged. The limitations of the counsel you should have seen. The people you should have trusted.
It is OK to grieve the loss of those missed opportunities. Because it is loss. And it is necessary. I used to be amused at the TV trope where people get sad on reading that their favorite actors/ authors/ musicians had died even before they first heard of them. I now see that it at least has some basis in reality.
Life is a continuous process of learning. Of understanding yourself and the world around you. As your grasp improves it is easy to look back and blame yourself for the (obvious) situations you mis-assessed and the opportunities you over-looked. But to actually learn from the past you also have to acknowledge the deficiencies of your past self. Because life is a not a summit that can be reached but instead a limitless sky. There will always be things you do not understand and there will always be refinements to the current model of things you do.
Looking back at the past in this manner I can only teach myself to trust that things will get better. To understand that all human beings are shaped and limited by unique experiences and no one but yourself can give you the wisest advice. Even your own dreams and desires are limited and shaped by your experiences and it is possible to be aware of them and not let them bind you into a constricted reality.
I should learn to seek people who can understand me rather than just those who have been more successful. To be patient and not rush into decisions and yet to be decisive enough to seize the moment. To maintain balance of caution and courage. To recognize fear and to learn to acknowledge and accept it.
To remember that many times even the best advice may need to be adapted to your special circumstance.
I should learn to never rest on your laurels. Recognize them, celebrate them but never rest on them. Arrogance/घमंड is a symptom of this. It tells you that you are not looking at things outside your comfort zone. Keep looking at new ideas and things and take especial note when smart people around you are doing it. The day you start resting on your laurels is the day you stop growing and start decaying.
Comments
Post a Comment